If you dont have anything nice to say, come sit by me

2008-07-27T13:30:00.002-04:00

That's right!! i'm now at www.whackaweeza.com -- no blogspot needed....

www.whackaweeza.com
Click Here for Whackaweeza 2.0

Lu's Summer TV Guide...with benefits

2008-07-21T21:44:00.003-04:00

I have actually been impressed with this summer's TV offerings. Anyone else?! I can actually say I have some show to look forward to Monday - Thursday. Now the weekends, that's another story. But I have been entertained with this summer's line up so far.

Monday
ABC's THE MOLE.... Yes, I know this shows old as dirt and yes I know NO ONE really watches it but me, but I gotta tell ya that there's something freaking mind-bending about watching a show and knowing you're being lied to by someone the whole time and trying to sniff the bastard out before the finale. So far, I am terrible at finding the Mole because there are only 5 people left and I have no freaking clue. Alas, I will watch on for further research. My guess: Craig the unassuming fat guy.

MTV's LEGALLY BLONDE: THE SEARCH FOR THE NEXT ELLE WOODS.... So first I thought this was going to be your typical bitch-fest filled with caddy ladies making total @$$es of themselves, but it was actually quite good (with the exception of the talentless Duff sister, not Hillary - the less famous one from Napoleon Dynamite - as the host). Tonight is the season finale so I'll be all about that tonight. They have let alot of talented people go and there's this one girl who is still in and whenever she sings, it sounds like someone's squeezing a puppy to death. So if she makes it on Broadway, I'm packing my bags and hopping the first plane to NYC because it's apparently easy to make it if you suck at something that's a solid 50% of your job performance!

Tuesday
If you haven't watched Wipeout, please - PLEASE - watch it. If only for the big balls montage. Yeah you heard me.

Wednesdays
My new favorite reality competition: So You Think You Can Dance. I know this is in its umteenth season, but I'm a little slow, ok? What I like about this show is while the fans can vote and have a say in who is in the bottom 3, it is the judges who decide their fate. Well, at least up until last week. Now we've put it in the hands of people who actually vote on these shows. I mean, we're all fans here, but come on... do you really pick up the phone and vote? My favorite picks: Twitch and Chelsie. If you've seen the show, you know what I'm talkin' about.

Thursdays
My other new favorite: America's Best Dance Crew. Again, if you can get over the host, this shows got potential. Sure, there are no Jabbawockeez on this one, but still entertaining enough to keep me quiet for an hour (40 minutes if I'm watching the DVR'd playback). Plus, the judges are Shane Sparks, L'il Mama and JC from NSYNC and they're always entertaining.

So there. If you've been whining about having nothing to watch all summer, I've just given you 4 shows that aren't doing too bad a job of keeping me happy. And if you can only pick one, I must insist you watch Wipeout. I'm cereal about it!

I'm a Disney Kinda Gal

2008-07-01T00:25:00.002-04:00

If you haven't seen WALL-E yet, then let me ruin the ending by saying Mel Gibson's character gets drunk and calls WALL-E "Sweet Bits". I joke, I kid! Mel's not even in this pic. I'm pretty sure his Disney voice-over career peaked at Captain John Smith from Poke-My-Hontas. Now that I've let my entire point derail, let's bring this full circle and start allover again.

WALL-E is genius! Especially when you take the time to notice the little details they have in practically every scene. And there is something so endearing about the little guy. He's so cute - you wanna squeeze him! Which is kind of a big deal for Pixar to pull that off seeing as how he is not made from squeezy materials.

I've begun to notice that my time committed to Facebook each day is becoming...how do you say.....excessive. Anytime I creep past the 45 minute mark on that site I seriously start to reconsider how my time is spent. It seems like I am more social on the internet THAN IN MY LIFE! I keep in touch with old school friends, email my dad with my latest post-op status, and buy my entire summer wardrobe without so much as reaching for phone or my car keys. Kinda makes me wonder if I'd be 50 lbs lighter if there was no internet. Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything rash like delete my Facebook account or (gasp) cancel my Amazon Prime subscription (PS - If you buy stuff from Amazon alot, you should really consider this new fangled deal they call Prime - FREE 2 DAY SHIPPING on most of the things you were going to by anyway).

GIVE MY REGARDS TO BROADWAY!
Lastly, I've been throwing around the idea of resurrecting my Theatre career by auditioning for some shows that are being produced by the Towne Lake Arts Center. I actually played the role of the chick featured in the pic to my left - Princess Winnifred from Broadway's Once Upon A Mattress. And before you give me your wittiest oneliner in reference to that title, let me stop you by saying if I haven't already heard it, I probably thought it myself! I've been watching MTV's the Search for the Next Elle Woods (from Broadway's Legally Blonde, of course) and it's been making me miss the stage and performing. Then I decided to do a YouTube search of scenes from the musicals I've been in. I'd forgotten how much fun it was. So anyways, auditions are a couple of weeks away so I don't know if I'm ready for those yet, but they have several shows coming up so maybe one on down the road if not the next one. We'll see....

Oh yeah! I almost forgot. My new favorite jam: Untouched by The Veronicas. It's sick. I heard it on So You Think You Can Dance a couple of weeks ago and I've been hooked ever since. Check it out.

That's Some Acute Appendicitis You've Got There!

2008-06-21T20:19:00.004-04:00

Greetings from the land of forfeited internal organs! As you may or may not have heard, I, Lindsey Kirk, parted ways with my appendix last Tuesday. In all honesty, he was being a total bitch and I really couldn't take it anymore!

What started with semi-intense pains on Monday lead to all-out "I'm-Going-To-Pull-My-Hair-Out-If-I-Don't-Get-Some-Relief" pains on Tuesday. Throw in a CT scan for confirmation, a little trip to Northside Hospital, and you've got yourself one great episode of Full House! And as a side note, Dilaudid is the greatest narcotic to happen to modern medicine since ~~heroin~~ morphine. I mean, seriously, it was just the best thing ever. When I first got to the hospital, they shot me up with morphine and I could hardly even tell a difference in the pain. Then they tried Dilaudid and all I remember is looking over to Stu and saying in a la-la voice, "I feel heavy".

For your edification, I decided to throw out this pic just to keep it real and let you know what exactly the appendix is and does. In researching, I found that there's no clear-cut answer in what the heck the appendix does, but it either helps us digest cellulose in plants, or is part of our immune system, producing white blood cells to fight infection. Either way, it's not necessary so beat it, Mr. Appendix! I was going to put up some graphic pictures of bloated, gross, appendices, but decided to spare you so thank your lucky stars for that!

I'm off to down a Lortab. Peace out!

I Now Pronounce You Mrs. & Mr. Asek

2008-03-31T23:18:00.007-04:00

Can I get an Amen from the choir? I just finished up my 3 year wedding tour with my last stop, Mrasektownville this past weekend and boy are my arms tired?! That's right... I have constantly been in someone's wedding since December 2005. And just before that was my wedding September of '05. So not counting that brief reprieve from September to December that year, you could technically say I've been schmoozing the wedding circuit since 2004. I don't even want to think about the chump change that's gone into supporting my friends in their romantic endeavors. Let's just round down....

Nikki's wedding was bootylicious. We had a smashingly Spanish ~~topless~~ tapas rehearsal dinner where I managed to have 6+ Sangrias with dinner and just one afterwards. Of course, the one afterwards was what I like to call a "larger portion". It started out innocently enough...I was just joking around. But it's so good when it touches your lips.... I kept going. And then Mike (chief executive officer of the peanut gallery) just had to add the slightest hint of peer pressure. And the next thing you know, there's nothing but ice and I'm reaching for an abandoned 2nd pitcher that was probably consumed by people I've never even spoken to. Before you say "gross" and "eewww" and all those other descriptive mini-judgements, please realize that the beauty of drinking straight out of the pitcher is that you're the only one doing it and everyone else has simply poured themselves a regular portion rather than help themselves to the whole thing. So there is no exchanging of oral fluids - or any fluids other than Sangria and my belly juices. mmmmmmmmmm

After the rehearsal dinner, we went back to the hotel for more boozing because let's be honest here..... What's one more drink after you've had a pitcher and some change?! Jessica proceeded to ~~fall asleep~~ pass out first and she quickly became the victim of giggly chicks who have had too much too drink. I think we took 35 pictures total during her coma photo shoot. Here are the highlights...

We love you Pickles! It's all in good fun :)

After a slight setback with my tranny makeup was self-corrected, things went swimmingly. There were scattered showers throughout the pre-, during-, and post-show activities. But since there really wasn't a large outside influence as far as venue and location, it didn't really matter. The only time it came into play was towards the end of the evening when the getaway car arrived -- The Wramblin' Wreck from Freaking Tech. Yes, minions. Nikki's a traitor and decided to surprise her new Ball'n'Chain with a convertible ride through the streets of A-Town Down. And God was smiling as he released the heavens and allowed them to be peed on from above as they glided down Peachtree to the sounds of the drunken wedding crowd serenading them with the ever-appropriate, "WHATS THAT COMIN' DOWN THE TRACK?!!!" It was a beautiful sight.

I can't wait for her pro pics. I hope to gain access to them shortly so you all can see.

I would like to give a shoutout to my #1 fans - Mike & Alissa. Mainly because I want free Disney tickets at some point. You guys are beautiful. I hope to be your surrogate friend someday.

More pics from the wedding posted below. Enjoy! And I promise to make a consorted effort to post more than once a fiscal quarter from now on. Something about my new best friends down in Florida jumping for joy at their desks when they check my blog really gets me motivated. I'm sooooo popular. On the internet.

Full album posted on facebook! "Tag it!"

2 Legit to Quit

2008-02-22T22:05:00.031-05:00

Hello, minions. I need to get my groove back and get this little blog that could up and running again. I don't know, I was thinking about maybe posting a crazy amount of posts like.....1 A WEEK! You heard it here first.

Toot Toot! Beep! Beep!
Oh! If you want something from me that's a little more boring and probably more widely read then please check out my featured article on ProducersWeb. It's a long drawn out way for my company to brand itself on one of our industry's leading websites. Notice the subtle mention of my company under my name. Anyhoo, it may very well drum up some more business for me at work so I'll say yes to the bigger paycheck.

DVR'd DIVAS
Can I get a "You go, Grill" for Cashmere Mafia? And before you breakout your Speak N Spells, I did get that right. Anyways, much like Chicago, it's the jazz. At first, I thought it would be a 2nd rate Sex and the City, but it's actually nothing like it and doesn't try to be. Except I really don't like one of the characters. She's - how do I say this - pointless. She doesn't bring anything to the show but sexual confusion and bad makeup. I wouldn't mind if she took a short walk off of a long pier (thanks for the joke, Dad! I knew I'd use it someday!). Plus, it stars Eowyn from Lord of the Rings - I think the one with the Ents in it and crap. Eowyn was the chick that was feelin' some Viggo Mortensen while he tried to save her village from the bad guys yadda yadda yadda. Anyways, its the new project of Sex and the City's mastermind Darren Star, so I guess thats why I like it so much. Check, please!

Lindsey Jr.
So now that I've managed to lose some weight, I've decided that I'd like to gain back the 35 and then some this year! That's right, stalkers! Me and the Hubbs are talking procreation. Mmmm. Nothing sounds ickier than the word "procreation" does it? It's awful redneck for a word with over 3 syllables. We think we're ready for that leg of the married tour so it's been confirmed we'll give it a go this year. Let's just hope those short bus jokes don't come back to bite me in the birth canal!

Janey Stainy Stain Pants

2008-02-12T22:52:00.002-05:00

Ok I dont have too much to say, but I HAVE to post this video of my favorite commercial. It's the Talking Stain one from Tide to Go. I've never laughed so hard at a commercial...

I think the part that gets me is the gibberish/french the stain is speaking and also the part where he gets super loud at the end. SO good. Kudos to Tide.

Oh yeah - I almost forgot. AIRBORNE is the jam. I highly recommend it. This past Friday I left work early to go to the hospital and take care of my flu-ridden brother who had a temperature of 104! I was so scared I was going to catch it and of course the next day I started experiencing the standard scratchy throat you're-going-to-be-REAL-sick-when-you-wake-up feeling. So I got some Airborne and kept downing fluids like crazy and I was able to fight it off. I do have alittle bit of a soar throat but at least my brain wasn't baking at 100+ degrees!

So those are my plugs: Tide and Airborne. Seacrest out.

Ummmm, Anybody???

2008-01-29T23:43:00.000-05:00

Ok so I don't post that much anymore. And I've pretty much acquired some facial wrinkles since I last wrote! Well I've been a little busy people! Sales is HARD. I have to make outbound dials, get inbound dials, get applications in the door....

It's not easy money!!! And the last thing I want to do when I get home is get back on the computer some more.

But, I feel it's my civic duty to tell you guys what is up with me.

I've dropped 32 lbs so far in my quest for weight loss....so that's good. I now officially weigh less than what I weighed when I got married. Which ain't sayin' much, if you know what I mean! (I mean I'm fat).

Me and Stu are tossing around the idea of making some babies. L'il Lindseys and Stus might be running around here before you know it. Oh boy. I'm hope my mother's standard curse of "I hope you have one just like you" doesn't rear it's ugly head because between you and me -- I was annoying as a kid! If my kids are annoying
I'm probably going to have to consider exchanging them for new ones or something. I dont' think I have my mother's divine patience. So I will keep you posted on that.

The new job is going well. I guess it's not new anymore, now that I've been doing it for 5 months now. I went ahead and hot my Life Insurance License and can now sell Life, Annuities and Long Term Care Insurance in the great big state of Gee-Gow (thats Georgia in redneck speak). I started a website, www.northgaltc.com, which is catered to people that are in the market for long term care insurance. Check it out. I'm still working out the kinks so we shall see.

I guess that's about it. If anyone even still checks this thing!

Thursday is the New Friday

2007-10-24T22:16:00.000-04:00

Yeah, that's right! Two days in a row, people. I am seriously on a roll. I actually was able to leave work when it was still light outside so I feel like I have all the free time in the world.

Last night, Stu and I watched 1408 - starring the never-aging John Cusack. It's like he's the new Dick Clark. He looks exactly the same today as he did when he was holding a boom box over his head as it blared Peter Gabriel. What was that movie called again? Anyways, back to the movie. First of all, most of it is shot in one room. Sounds very Castaway, I know. But believe me, this ain't no Gilligan's Island. That movie freaked me out. And not in a scary-ghost kind of way, but in an evil-presence-that-you-can't-really-wrap-your-mind-around kind of way. I was tense the whole time (and Stu watched 90% of the movie with one eye peaking out from behind a sofa pillow, but you didn't hear that from me). We figured out that the main reason this movie is so creepy is that it lacks that "something freaky deaky is about to happen" music that builds momentum and clues you in to the parts where you're supposed to be scared. It's much more effective if you have no idea that it's coming. I like these types of movies much more than the slasher horror ones or the ones that are nothing but evil ghosts getting their spook on, etc. This is much more thought provoking and interesting than sitting back and watching some smart-ass teenager hide from a knife-weilding maniac who turns out to be the local high school janitor, or whatever. I like this one as a thriller because its one where while you're watching it, you're mad that you are putting yourself through it, but when it's done, you're glad you did.

Switching gears to Halloween topics. Can we discuss how women have two options when it comes to Halloween costumes: Ultra-slutty, or potato sacks. There really is no in between. Everything that is remotely cute is up your butt or down your neckline or comes in 2 tiny pieces that resemble dish cloths more than actual garments. Observe the example to the right. She basically needs two haircuts to sport that outfit, if you know what I mean. I think this is the cutest little get-up, but I have to wear my costume to work and something tells me this might be what I like to call a distraction. Now, to the left is one of the work-friendly ones. How boring is that? It's a striped potato sack with matching ugly hat. Not exactly something I'd feel cute or festive in. Why can't they make cute and flattering costumes that don't give off the "I really want to dress like this all year but am afraid people will call me a whore" vibe? Halloween does not = Festival of Hookers!

I'll leave you with this lovely website: Atlanta Ghost Hunters. This link will take you to some recordings taken from houses here in the Atlanta area. You can hear what appears to be voices from people beyond the grave (insert spooky ooooh's and ahhh's here). It's kind of chilling to hear these, but check it out anyways.

I'll Take Things That are Awesome for $100, Alex

2007-10-24T00:40:00.000-04:00

Ti's I! Lady Lu. Sorry so long since my last update (is it just me, or do I start off pretty much every post like that now?). I work non-stop these days, for serious! It's around 50+ hours a week, no joke. Yes, please whip out your violins now. My life is such a sad little place. But seriously, when you go into work at 7:45 and finally leave the building at 7:45, the last thing you want to do is think up something witty and worth someone else's time and type it all up and make it look pretty. So its my new job that causes me to neglect you and that brings such sadness to my life. Did I say sadness? I meant MONEY BITCHES! HA!

No - the new job really does take a lot out of me, but while I am crying about it in a corner with my binky and Pampers Pull-Ups, I do find the time to point out the things that I currently find quite awesome. So here is the list.

#1 - Andy Samberg
Most of you know him as that other guy in the "D*ck in a Box" skit with Justin Timberlake. He pretty much is the new Will Ferrell on SNL. It seems like every sketch he is in is an instant classic. Here are some of my favorite Andy Samberg moments so far.....

Punched in the Face While Eating

Kevin Federline's Guide to Parenting

2007 National Douchebag Championships

Love him!

#2 PalmerCash T-Shirts
Next on my list of things filled with awesomeness, is my new favorite outfitter: PalmerCash. This website gem is loaded with t-shirts that have a great sense of humor. I'm wearing my current favorite in the featured pic. I just ordered the "Stay Golden" one and I picked up the "Strictly for My Ninjas" a couple of weeks ago and wore it to work today. Part of the fun in sporting these shirts is getting people's reactions to them. I went in to Quick Trip one morning wearing my ninja shirt, and the next time I went in (wearing something normal and non-funny) the attendant said, "No ninja shirt today?" I was going to say, "Yeah, tool, I wear the same shirt every stinkin' day", but instead I gave him the courtesy laugh and grabbed my Rooster Booster Tall Boy and was off. But I think it's funny how people notice your shirts like that. Anyways, these shirts are perfect for me because we get to be uber-caszh (thats short for uber-casual...you try spelling out that hard "zh" sound without it looking weird!) at work most of the time so basically, this is corporate Barbie gear for me! In ~~shirt~~ short, if you need to purchase a gift for me in the near future and you don't know what to get, go with a shirt from these guys.

#3 The Office
Finally on my list of things that kick hiney (haven't used that word in about a decade in a half so you were due). Can somebody please tell me when the art of the sitcom died? This is the only decent comedy show that is airing right now and I find that odd. It used to be sitcom after sitcom Monday through Thursday but now this show is all we've got. The good news is that they make up for the lack of comedy everywhere else with the writing. Dwight K. Schrute my be the greatest character ever created in televisionland. That and the fact that I love the Jim and Pam coupledom. If you don't know what I am talking about, march yourself right over to Blockbuster and begin at the beginning. You won't be disappointed. And if you are, well then go post it on your own blog you Debbie Downer!

Lu-sing Weight
I am kind of stagnate at this point. Holding strong at 25 lbs lost. I am kind of suprised that no one really mentions it or notices much, especially at work, because I can really tell a difference. Here is a pic of me from June of this year next to a pic of me from 1 week ago. I can see it in my face and stomach. The pic on the left looks like I'm preggers for pete's sake. They say the difference becomes evident when you lose 10% of your body weight, and I did that along time ago. But I am interested to find out at what point do people who see you day in and day out really start to notice. 30 lbs? More? I guess we'll see.

Hola Lotta Sumpin' Goin' On

2007-10-14T17:15:00.000-04:00

First things first: This is one of the funniest things on youtube right now. Enjoy...

Second of all, Light the Night was a huge success. Our team ended up with over $24,000 in raised funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society! We had a great time and it was neat to see how things played out. Somehow, I think this event would be more fun with some beer added in, but I guess that wouldn't be appropriate........would it? Anyways, now that we have attended one of these cancer fighting throw downs, we know how to bring it next year! The Atlanta Light the Night goal for this year was $1.32 million and we capped it off last night with $1.37 million so we did better than we planned on! Very exciting. Let me know if you want to join next years team and raise money with us. Although I will warn you that failure to actually raise money will result in multiple "Are you going to raise money?" emails from Yours Truly! So beware. :)

I finished up my last day of Life Insurance License School this morning so I should be taking the test to get my license to write insurance shortly. So if you need some life insurance or perhaps an annuity, I'm your gal. Wink wink, nugde, nudge.

Stu's birthday is today and he's the big 2-7. We are celebrating with some dinner and the standard Sunday installment of Dexter. If you aren't watching this show, you're retarded. It's really good. If you don't have Showtime, find someone who does and become their new BFF. It's worth it. Trust me.

On the weight loss front, I'm down 25 lbs, playas! I am loving it. No complaints at all from this medication and people have actually made appointments to see my doctor about getting on it themselves! Like I'm a weight loss guru or something!

All Hail, VH1

2007-09-30T22:33:00.000-04:00

Ok ladies and gentlemen....the time has come for us to learn who Bret chooses in the end. And the winner is, Jess! My personal fave and the most non-hookerish of all the Rock of Love Ladies. I am so glad he went with the normal one! I actually can't believe it, but he did. Well, if you call someone who dyes her hair pink normal. But out of all those crazy hookers, she was the least crazy and slutty. So, kudos to Bret Michaels. Despite his terrible fashion sense and tendency to wear guy-liner, he does seem to have a relatively decent taste in women when choosing from a pool of completely hopeless hopefuls.

And just when you thought it was all over they give you - the Reunion Show!!!! Woo freaking hoo! They were showing previews during the commercial breaks and this one's going to be a doozy. We are talking Flavor of Love Style verbal battles and censor beeps galore. I can't wait to get down and dirty with these trashy ladiez. I am especially interested to hear what Heather thinks about her "Bret" tattoo now that he didn't pick her. What a hose-job. You'd think that getting a guy's name inked on your body permanently would win you the top spot! Reality TV is SO HARD, you guys.

But if you think your Sunday nights are going to be oh so empty without these characters, you can thank VH1 for pulling out all the stops and debuting their newest series next Sunday night: America's Most Smartest Model! YES I AM SERIOUS! It's America's Next Top Model meets Jeopardy. So these people have to be (as Tyra puts it) fierce on the runway AND not be a total dumb-ass. Now thats what I call entertainment. Stay tuned for more debauchery and exploitation! Oh - and my favorite new word coined by this show: Himbo! Now of course, that means a male-bimbo. Use it in a sentence today!

Jessica's Team Kritta fundraiser at The Three Bears Cafe in Marietta was a HUGE success this past Friday. Combined with the admission charge and the ipod raffle we had, we were able to raise over $1,000 in one night! Bling-blingin' it for cancer, baby! What was so great about this event was that it put us over the $20,000 mark. So much so that we are actually over $21,000 for our Light the Night Team! So we are on a roll. There are two weeks left, so I am going to see if I can squeeze any more change out of whomever I haven't hit up yet! Maybe we can get to $22,000.**please see facebook for the reason I am holding my beer up like a trophy in pic**

Why Don't You Marry It?
I must confess that I LOVE my new Dyson vaccuum. It was a splurge gift me and Stu ended up buying eachother for our 2 year anniversary (I know, how lame to get a vac as an anniversary gift) but if you're thinking its lame, you have not tried one yet. It sucks up carpet pieces that aren't sewn down into the carpet! I mean thats crazy! Everytime I use it I have an entire cat's worth of hair chilling in the bottom of the dust collector cup. Ick. I feel like we've been living in filth up until we got this thing. It's sick. I highly recommend one. Dyson, you can send my endorsement check to................

TV, coke, and other activities...

2007-09-25T19:52:00.000-04:00

Wow...it's tv season and I freaking love it! Sooo many shows to talk about. Unfortunately, none are as trashy as Rock of Love. I don't know what I am going to do with myself after next weeks season finale. Will it be the stripper? Or the normal girl (if you consider pink hair normal). May I just say that if he picks the stripper, I hope he understands that he didn't need to go through a reality tv show just to take a stab at bangin' a stripper! I mean come on!

But on to more substantial programming, HEROES made its way back into my weekly routine last night. And might I say.........snoozefest! Where was all the crazy action and special ninja skills I have grown to love? All I saw last night was a spoon being turned to gold and Claire's standard leg break insta-heal action. Bo-ring. I need to see people's heads being sliced open, flying, invisible dudes, etc. I hope next weeks installment brings something more along those lines to the table.

Hooked on Coke
Experts say soda is like a bomb in the average American diet. In other words, its nothing but empty calories and can have 400+ calories per "serving" (XL fast food drinks are 32oz - thats more like a tub o' cola than a serving) So quit coking it up, people! Not only are sodas loaded with non-nutritional cals, but the sugars in them actually promote overeating! And yes I am still talking about the liquid kind....everyone knows the other coke actually keeps you from eating. How do you think I've lost all this weight? JOKES! Anyways, on top of all this, they say that drinking calories doesn't have that much effect on your appetite, so when you drink 400+ calories, you still have no problem eating your burger and fries along with it. YIKES! I think if Mcdonalds revamped things and gave Ronald McDonald cankles and man boobs, kids would think twice about getting the McCola to go along with their 4 piece chicken ~~McTesticles~~ McNuggets. For the full article on cnn.com, click here.

Something I would like to leave you guys with. I like to consider it the best prank phone call of all time. It has some language in it, but it's priceless!!!

"You dont' want me in your house...'cuz I'll tear that thing apart!!"

Thats Capital with an A, Baby!

2007-09-24T00:32:00.000-04:00

Hey kids! We're back from the lovely District of Columbia. And might I say, what a great weekend getaway destination?! There was so much to do. We found ourselves saying, "..next time we come we need to.....", about a dozen times. I highly recommend it!

We arrived Thursday night and our flight was uneventful. Except to say that it was a ridunkulously low fee to upgrade to biznazz class so of course, we did! High 5! We boozed it up and kicked back for the hour and some change flight over and arrived safely.

Friday, we hit up the sites of DC - Library of Congress, the Capitol, Washington Monument, and also we peeped the Smithsonian for the high art scene. You know how we do! Great stuff in there - including the only American Museum owned Da Vinci painting. So that was pretty cool. We also got to see some Degas, Monet, Van Gogh, and all kinds of stuff. After our tour, we had dinner at this great steak place and chilled the rest of the evening at Casa del Decker (Andrew and Sara's place).

The next morning, we did some wine tastings at 2 vineyards in the Shenandoah Valley region - The Oasis, and Naked Mountain. $3 to taste 6 different wines! So we basically got a glass and a half for $3. Then we got a few bottles and shared, of course, but that is a heck of a cheap starter course if you ask me.

And you know we had to watch the Dawgs play at Sara's brothers place. And what a great game that was. I am still a little hoarse from all the yelling/screaming/cheering I did during those few hours. But, we pulled it out (of our *ss) in the end so that's all that matters, right?!

On Sunday, we walked across the bridge into Georgetown and had brunch and shopped. This place makes Athens look tiny! It was huge and had so many shops, bars, restaurants and stores.... It was like Athens cubed! I wish we could have spent more time there, but as I was saying all weekend, maybe next time!

My favorite souvenir is a word Decker taught us: ROFLCOPTER. Now, the origin of this word is some stupid online gaming website, but we took it to pretty much be anything we wanted. It pretty much became a great way to describe something funny, since ROFL is the online acronym "rolling on the floor laughing". Case in point.... this is a ROFLCOPTER:
This is a roflcopter not only because this crazy chick has her hair shaped like a freaking helicopter, but also because thats a hilarious updo!! Roflcopter makes for good jokes! Try it in a sentence today. Like, "What the roflcopter are you doing?!" or "Get that roflcopter sh*t outta here!"

Anyhoo, we upgraded - AGAIN - to biznazz class for the venture home and got back a little after 10:00pm. So all in all it was a great trip. If you guys ever need some new place to weekend it up, I am telling you - our nation's ~~capitol~~ capital is where it's at!

Lu-sing Weight
Still just down 23 lbs., but thats alright with me! I'm looking and feeling better everyday. I hope I can get another 10 down before I go and see the doctor again in October.

Say You, Say Me

2007-09-20T16:35:00.000-04:00

Hellllooooo!!!!

Sorry I have been a huge disappointment lately in the blogging sense. Now that I am getting into the groove over on the sales team, I think I will be able to post more. Here's hoping anyways....

Oh let's see. Where do I start? I know!

Rock of Love Update!! How exciting! That skanky ho I love to hate is finally outta there (yes, I am talking about Kool-Aid weave, Lacey). It's about time. In the end, it was her weird ass dad that made Bret realize that she would never "work out" as he likes to put it. I think his words were, "You crazy, b*tch!" Just kidding. But I wish he did say that. For fun, try looking at the myspace pages of all these people. Why do they all like the new Nickelback song so much? And could their pages ooze whore-ishness (new word) any more?

Brandi

Heather

Lacey

Operation "Eat Less Food, Fatty" is going well. I have dropped 23 lbs so far. And its becoming a problem in my marriage because now I am buying clothes left and right because - surprise - I look better in outfits when there is more of a waist and less of a FUPA. So I have been scolded about that, but I can't help myself! I haven't gotten excited about new clothes in over a year! Can you blame me?

Tonight we are flying out to the most romantic city in the world for our 2nd anniversary....Washington DC. I know what you're thinking - what about Paris, Rome - oh no people. There's something about Democracy that I find so sexy and thrilling. I can't wait to steal a kiss in front of the White House. Maybe even get a little Lewinsky action - JOKES JOKES! But seriously, I know DC isn't exactly the number 1 honeymooners hotspot, but this trip is going to be so much fun. I can't wait. Except for the part where I have had that scratchy throat feeling all day and can tell I am going to be sick as a dog when I wake up tomorrow. But oh well, you win some you lose some!

See you guys next week.

Serially

2007-09-10T00:17:00.000-04:00

Ok so I can't post everyday since I'm "soooo busy" with my big girl career - aka, I'm trying to bust my hump and prove myself so I don't have time to sit on the computer like I used to - but I will try to post as often as possible for you, my fans. Just kidding. But anyways....

Michael C. Hall is my new favorite crush. Stu and I started the Dexter series from Showtime in our Netflix queue and I LOVE it. Plus, there's something about this guy thats so sexy, but I can't put my finger on it. If you don't know, this show is based on a series of books written by Jeff Lindsay. Stu read the first one, Darkly Dreaming Dexter last summer or sometime around then, so he already knows what goes down, but I'm only 4 shows in and I'm hooked. The premise is this blood-spatter analyst who just also happens to be a serial killer. They get you to like him though because he only kills murderers and pedophiles who get away with their crimes. It's bizarre to be watching a show and realize that you're on the serial killer's side! If you haven't checked it out yet, I urge you to do so. It's like CSI meets American Psycho meets 6 Feet Under (I say that because Michael C Hall starred in that before Dexter). Plus, it has the guy who played Richard in Sex in the City. I have no clue what his actual name is. To me, he will always be Richard. That cheating bastard!

The poor dawgs were frustratingly terrible this past weekend. Getting beat by Spurrier always burns a little the next morning. And I love how everyone who doesn't like the Dawgs always manages to get a text or phone call in there. Notice I don't do that to you people everytime we win you a-holes!

Lastly, I need to run an idea by you guys. I was thinking I could get these cute shirts made and sell them as a fundraiser for the team I started in memory of my mom. Here is the design I came up with. What do you guys think? I think they'd be a hit. They are kinda funny. At least the younger peeps might like them. I was thinking maybe sell them for $15-$20? Thoughts, suggestions.....

Lu-sing Weight
I'm kind of at a stand still here. I'm at about 19 lbs but have really slowed down. But I m fitting into smaller dresses and pants, so that counts for something in my book.

Narf!

2007-08-30T23:12:00.001-04:00

Sorry to neglect you, my faithful minions. This new job has got me all sorts of discombobulated! Not only have my work hours increased, but so has my workload. So now when I come home, I'm not so quick to jump on the computer. I'm more about crashing on the couch like a narcoleptic.

Anyhoo, I guess I should bring you guys up to speed on Rock of Love. Its been awhile and I know you guys are just dying to discuss! (please notice my sarcasm as it is not so obvious via the interweb) As we narrow down the already slim pickin's for Mr. Michaels, Lacey, aka Kool-Aid Weave, tries yet again to get rid of someone. I really and truly hate this girl. She is terrible. I mean, look at all the horrible people on this show and to be the one that is the worst of the worst, that's like winning the special Olympics. Sure, you won something..... but you're handicapped! Anyways, yadda yadda, some stupid hooker - in this case, Magdalena - goes home because Bret doesn't "feel a connection". Batch, please. Next.

Anyone else ready for some football?! Nikki - this pics for YOU! ;)

I know I am. Me and the hubbers are finally takin' it back to the old school (cuz I'm an Old Fool who's so cool -- 20 pts to whomever names what I am referencing here). We never even went to one stinkin' game last year! Talk about lame! But we shall redeem ourselves with beacoup des boozes and maybe a few puke 'n' rallies. You never know.

I am also attending a bachelorette. party this weekend, tonight to be exact. We're starting with dinner at Two Urban Licks and then takin' it to the streets of Midtown and I'm sure Buckhead - what's a bachelorette party without some Hole in the Wall sweaty grinding on strange randos who appear out of nowhere behind you? Right Taff?! Ahhhh. Memories. In case you don't know/can't remember what I am talking about, please see the picture posted to the right. This was taken at Tiffiny's Bachelorette shin dig circa 2006. Notice the creepy guy that managed to make it into the pic. He appeared out of nowhere! I am telling you!

Lu-Sing Weight
Don't even worry about it, people! I bought pants yesterday that were a) $6.00!!!!! and b) one size smaller than all the other pants in my closet! Boo yah ;)

Happy Labor Day Everyone!!!

Travellin' (wo)Man

2007-08-28T20:56:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm finally back. I didn't think I'd ever get back here but here I am. Traveling to and from Minneapolis was an absoulute NIGHTMARE. Firstly, when we tried to land in Minneapolis, the President was also trying to land so sair traffic held off ALL COMMERCIAL LANDINGS. So after circling the airport for an hour, they rerouted us to Rochester, MN to refuel. Long story short, we sat there for 2 1/2 hours until we were finally back in Minneapolis. we touched down 3 hours after we should have landed. The trip back was even worse! They cancelled our 1:43 pm flight out of Minneapolis due to some mechanical problem and we didn't get another flight out until 7:00 that night. So we sat at the airport for over 7 hours! You should see our expense reports! Nothing but Chili's Airport booze from 1:00-7:00pm! Ha!

In between these terrible journey's, the Allianz part was great. I got alot of product training and alot of free alcohol. And before you make fun of me, we were required to wear Hawaiian shirts and that little diddy that I am wearing in those pics is a $3 Goodwill purchase. It is also the best mom/teacher shirt to ever have in your collection.

Kiawah and Charleston was also fun. I ended up having to stay the night in a hotel right outside of the airport and then flew into Charleston the next day. The original plan was for me to meet Stu and his parents at the airport around 5:30 (when my cancelled flight would have been arriving) and then drive to Charleston, but since I didn't even get into Atlanta until around 11:00, that plan was shot. The weather was great and the beach was beautiful. Stu and I drove into Charleston yesterday for some shopping and dining. If you are ever in the area, please go to Meritage on East Bay Street in downtown Chucktown. Best tapas ever. Mmmmmm.

Lu-sing Weight
The Dr.'s scales confirmed my scales: 6 more lbs down for a total of 17 lbs.

That Ain't in the Playbook, But It Should Be

2007-08-21T07:05:00.000-04:00

Well, it's off to Minneapolis for some training and schmoozing with the Allianz big wigs. I hope I at least look like I know what I am doing. I think I fooled everyone yesterday, but I haven't had to get on the phone with an agent yet so we'll see. Want to know what new element to my job that has been giving me the most trouble? The freaking headphone receiver. All the sales people at my company have those wireless headsets so they can walk around the office and stay on the phone. Since I have been in the support role ever since I got there, I never had a need to have the wireless headset. I can't tell you how many times yesterday I was on the phone and I shut it off by accident, or the battery pack fell off it's clip, etc. You would think I would be struggling with all the new product information, but alas, I can't get the headset concept down!

Me no likee Mikey V. For some reason, I have been hoping all this stuff surrounding Mike Vick was false, or just that it was his friends/minions who were the true a-holes, but no, I was giving him too much cred. I don't know why I was feeling sorry for him and giving him the benefit of the doubt. I mean, you really shouldn't feel sorry for anyone who gets 22 million just in a signing bonus for their career. And you sure as heck shouldn't feel sorry for someone who murders dogs in the most archaic of ways simply because they don't fight hard enough for their crazy *ss. It looks like he is facing somewhere between 16 - 36 months. I hope he gets the full 36. I also hope the NFL kicks him out and that the Falcons sue him for his signing bonus. Maybe we can take that money and get someone who is not only good, but who also doesn't go by Ron Mexico when giving hood rats STD's, or bring water bottles with secret weed-fragrant compartments in them, or give us the finger! Let's lose the thuggish-ruggish. I'm over it.

Lu-sing Weight
This morning is my weigh-in at the doctor. But you peeps have to wait a week to hear the results since my flight leaves today around 5:30pm. Bwah ha ha!!!

They Say It's Your Birthday

2007-08-19T22:34:00.000-04:00

Bryce's birthday was great. He's so cute it's gross. It kinda puts pressure on me and Stu to not have ugly kids. Here's hoping! I've embedded the video I shot of him blowing the 2 candles out on his Ernie cake. Feel free to vomit in your mouth at the cuteness. You guys probably won't think he's as cute as I do, but what the hay. This is my first youtube upload so give it a whirl. Also, please notice my nifty collage. I am getting better at this presentation thing. And by better, I mean nerdy! But this is the best way to fit more pics on this blog without it looking like a straight up online photo album. And just think - this is just my nephew. Can't wait to see what this blog looks like when I actually have kids! It will probably be nothing but things like, "Oh my gosh you guys I am so excited. Little Junior* took a dump on the big potty yesterday!" Anyways, here's the video:

Saturday I got my nails did and went shopping for clothes for my big girl business trip. I leave tomorrow and will be back Friday, if you can call it that. Stu and his parents are picking me up from the airport and we're hitting the beach for a long weekend. Then we get back Tuesday night of next week. So technically, I won't be back til then. So there probably won't be many posts after tomorrow until I get back. So get your fill!

Today I start my new job and am a little nervous. Just because this is all so new and completely different than what I was doing before and frankly, I just hope I don't suck at it! I am really excited to be doing this, it's just weird to not be in a support position anymore and actually be on the sales team.

Lu-sing Weight
Finally! The scale finally reads 17 lbs. down! I thought I'd never get there! It was nice to go shopping and have my problem be that everything fit and I couldn't decide which outfit to get. Usually, it's that nothing fit and I felt fat and ugly in everything. I am the champion of moderate weight loss!

*Junior will not be the name of any offspring of mine, I was just going for generic for the joke

If You a Fly Gal, Get Your Nails Done, Get a Pedicure, Get Your Hair Did

2007-08-16T23:18:00.001-04:00

Ok so , as you can tell by my lovely pic, I got my hair did last night. That's me and my foils baking under Martin's new drying lamps. Nothing drastic. Just the regular highlight, cut and eyebrows. Although, I will tell you that Martin struggled with the eyebrows because about 2 weeks ago, I decided it would be a good idea to trim them and took Stu's beard and mustache trimmers and put the guard down to about 2. I'm sure alot of you can see where this is going. Let's just say a 2 guard is a little too low for your eyebrows. You should keep that around a 4! Because my hair is so blonde and those hairs are so short, I have had to pencil in my left brow (thank goodness I noticed on the left one before I did the right, so only the left was affected by my "great" idea). Leave it to the professionals, Linds! PS - I think I do a great impersonation of a baked potato in that pic! Although Susan says I look more like I'm trying to impersonate Anna Nicole..."Trim shpah baybee!"

Well they haven't announced it officially at work, but no one from my office checks my blog, so I can tell you guys that I got a promotion yesterday!!! I start Monday and it's in my company's Long Term Care Sales Department. I found this lovely definition of long term care insurance for those who I haven't explained it to yet: "A health-insurance variation designed to cover the costs of long term care at home or in a nursing home." So, it's kind of like health insurance and kind of like life insurance. So my new job would be to help insurance agents who offer this to their clients. I would help them with client presentations, illustrations, running quotes, etc. I basically help them market their business. Hence "financial marketing". Any questions? There is a quiz at the end of this...

This weekend we are house sitting in south bumble, aka Tyrone, GA. Stu's brother, Brian, and his family are going to B'ham to visit Brook's (Brian's wife) family and celebrate little Bryce's 2nd birthday! Please notice the world's cutest picture ever featuring Mr. Birthday boy. I mean, he could be the kid from Jerry McGuire! And what did we get Bryce for his birthday? #1 - If you have talked to my husband in the past year, he would have told you about freaking Transformers. It has dominated my life since we first learned of this amazing movie project, which was sometime last fall! So what better gift for a 2 year old, then Optimash Prime. And no, that is not a Lindsey-inspired pun, thats what the box says! How cute is this? I kind of want one for myself. I wish they made Justin Tinfoil-lake (oh, thats bad...you know, like baked potatoes are wrapped in tinfoil? no?) Ok, so moving on..... #2 - Brian and Brook are more musically inclined than athletically inclined, so the fact that one of Bryce's favorite activities is going outside to throw the ball is so exciting for Stu, he's insisted we get him a UGA jersey! Unfortunately, the only come in #7 so let's just hope no one thinks he's reppin' The DogFather. Anyways, Bryce's daycare actually has "Jersey Days" and he can't be the only kid without a jersey! Toddlers represent!

Lu-sing Weight
Still nothing major. I am losing about .2 lbs a day so it's taking longer to report actual lbs. But at least it's still coming off, right?!

Happy Birthday, Mom

2007-08-15T22:55:00.000-04:00

Today is my mom's would be 53rd birthday so my heart's a little heavy. It's hard to imagine what it's like to lose a parent until you do and then the strangest thing happens: life goes on. You don't think it will, but it does. And that kind of makes you a little more sad, because a world without your mom is a world no one wants to live in. I try to remember the good stuff and laugh, but on days like today it's hard to pretend that I'm not a little less complete and wanting nothing more than to go to Marshall's and find her rummaging through the housewares section for knick knacks. If mom were here I would have gotten her a cute bag or outfit, or maybe even some jewelry, yellow gold, of course. Instead, this year I am going to take that money that I would have spent on her gift and donate to Light the Night. I hope she likes it. :) If you feel so inclined to get her a bday gift too, you can do so here. (http://www.active.com/donate/ltnAtlant/2069_kirklin82)

My Colors Are Blush and Bashful

2007-08-14T23:08:00.001-04:00

Here is my lovely new bathroom. Courtesy of Connie Interiors and Benny Moore's "Sienna Clay". This freaking room took about 5 hours to finish after taping up everything and anything in that place, plus 2 coats with a 30 minute drying time between. Talk about a hose job! It took all afternoon! But, after two years of looking at "builder's beige" colored walls and white towels and bath rugs, it's a refreshing change. And a little "toot toot" going out on my own horn for picking the fab fabric (out of the 15 or so swatches Connie brought me from the fabric store) and the wall color. Eat your heart out, Vern Yip!

I finally saw The Departed this week and can I say, it is an over-indulgence in the eye candy department. Whoever cast that movie had to be a 17 year old chick because it had Leonardo DiCap-hero, Mat de-Man, Marky Mark and the Hunky Bunch, and even the classic Alec Baldwin (I couldn't think of anything for him, since Baldwin is now synonymous for hot guy). And don't forget the very intriguing Jack Nicholson. Some people claim him to be sexy....I am not one of them, but some people do..... Despite the redunkulous amount of shots to the face in this movie, I really liked it. And PS - Matt Damon's character is a total sonofab*tch, too. I don't think I have ever wanted someone to die more than that guy. What a skid mark! The other interesting thing I found with this movie is the portrayal of people from Boston. I mean, do they really talk like that up there? I usually don't go for all those beat downs and all that blood, but I was entertained the whole time. So if you haven't seen this yet, queue it up in your NetFlix and check it out. I guess those Academy people know what they are talking about afterall! I give it 3 1/2 Slim Fasts.

Holy Crap! Did you know that the public can buy our cell numbers online?! Aw hell naw! I didn't believe it until I went on there and started typing my names and friends names to see what came up. I started with my new married name and this is what came up: Lindsey K____; Woodstock GA, Age:25. Hmmmm. Then I tried my maiden name and this is what came up: Lindsey C________; Marietta, Athens, Woodstock, relatives: Terry, Krista, Jason. I am not kidding! Taff, if you do your maiden name, it lists Lynn and Clifford C as your relatives!!!! Nikki, if you use your full legal name it pulls up Norak and your pops and lists M-town, Kissimmee and Sarasota - I'm guessing they might have mixed a little bit of Mikee No Likey's Info with yours? And Jess, yours has both your rentals and M-town listed. And PS - there are a crap ton of people with your maiden name! All you have to do is pay for this and people can get your address, cell phone numbers, pretty much anything! I am so ticked over here! Where do they get their info? From any business that you provided with your information.....ever. Think about all the sign up sheets and info forms and all that BS you've filled out in your lifetime! We are so screwed. Here is the website responsible for this crap, Intelius. Also, you can read more about this on ABC News.com.

Lu-Sing Weight
Doing a bit better than I was this weekend. It's going down, but not in big increments. I am still nibbling on my treats from Blue Ridge so nothing drastic in the weight arena! ;)

Jock of Love

2007-08-13T21:43:00.001-04:00

This week on "We Are Strippers Who Are Into Has Been Rock Stars", the ladies competed in a little football action. Jess (chick with pink and platinum blonde hair) won MVP and had her first one-on-one with Mr. I Am Balding So I Wear Banadanas 24/7. Meanwhile back at the house, Lacey (she's the Kool-Aid hair-colored weasel I can't stand) and Heather (the actual stripper who dances topless in the house FOR FUN) plotted to get clown-boobed Erin gone for good. And they succeeded again! It's like whoever they pick to go home, does! Ok, I'm sure we all just went down a few IQ points just for being subjected to this, but it's a sickness, people! Would you make fun of me if I was in a wheel chair??

Only in America
So a man in Texas is suing 1-800-FLOWERS for revealing his affair! Apparently, when he went to pay for the roses he bought his homewrecker, he asked them to keep his purchase private. However, the company ended up sending him a thank you card for his business and the wife came across the card in the mail. She called to inquire about it, and they faxed her a copy of the receipt along with the message that was intended for little miss I Need a Man and Your Man Will Do. It read: "Just wanted to say that I love you and you mean the world to me!" Here is the kicker..... This couple was already going through a divorce, but when the wife uncovered this affair, she asked for more money and more child support. So this Scum Bag is suing 1-800-FLOWERS for $1 million for breach of contract! This guy's an idiot if you ask me. Won't half of that end up going to the wifee anyways?! ABC NEWS has the full story.

Mrs. T's Birthday was celebrated accordingly - with mexican. But this time, we switched it up and went to La Hacienda. Don't worry, they still had big huge beers....and Jessica had two! So by my calculations, that would be 64oz.??? By the way Jess, did you get home ok?!

Lu-sing Weight
eh........same old same. No weight gain or loss. Just kind of teetering. I need to get going if I am going to have a significant loss by my Dr.'s appt. next week!

Rollin' (rollin') Rollin' Down a River

2007-08-11T08:45:00.000-04:00

Definitely go and see Bourne Ultimatum. It's freaking awesome. And it has one of the sickest fight scenes I have ever seen in a movie. Wait - I say that like I see fight scenes on the street all the time and this one just happens to be the best movie fight. Scratch that - one of the sickest fight scenes I have ever seen period. Oh and one of the best car chases. Plus, Matt Damon is such a bad a--! And you don't have to deal with that foreign butterface, Franka Potente (aka chick from Run, Lola, Run)in this one cuz she peaced out in the Bourne Supremacy (woops, guess I should have put up a spoiler alert). Anyways, I give it 3 1/2 Slim Fasts!

The Light the Night kick off was good times. Laura came, along with my aunt and cousin Brooke (pictured). Of course, the old ball 'n' chain was present. He wouldn't miss an opportunity to play shoot 'em up video games! They gave us loaded game cards with about $20 on each so we were able to score about 420 tickets. Wanna know what that will get you at D&B's? A "Pull My Finger Farting Pen". Just what I was in the market for, really. It's a pen that is shaped like a finger and you can pull it apart and it lets out different fart noises as you do it. It's even flesh colored. Kudos to the 11 year olds that thought this up. Because the skin tone really completes the overall effect. But back to more serious things, like fighting cancer! I gave my speech and I was more nervous than I thought I would be, but overall it went well. Plus, I scored a Light The Night Team Craptain t-shirt! Nerd alert!!

Blue Ridge was also good times. The river tubing dealio was more fun than I anticipated. Except for the parts where it was too shallow and my butt was dragged along furry rocks (I think the fur was a moss/weeds mixture, either way, rocks shouldn't have more hair than my cats combined). The water temp was really cool which kept us from being too hot. It took 3 hours to go a mile, which put us at the lightning speed of 1/3 mph! Hold on to your water wings, kids! But my arms are sore today from the paddling back and forth and trying to steer clear of the rocks as much as possible. If you ever have the chance to do this, you should. It was such a fun ride and relaxing at the same time. I just wish we had another 6 inches to work with....that's what she said. Oh, I couldn't resist! I'm talking about the water level, you pervs!

Lu-sing Weight
I don't think this weekend went well. I ate a good bit at dinner because I had a Buckhead Beef Filet Mignon from Buck's (Jim and Connie's store). Buckhead Beef supplies all the steaks to the Buckhead Life Restaurants -- Nava, Chops, Buckhead Diner, etc). So it was a freaking good steak! Plus, we stopped by the shop itself and loaded up on designer peanut butters like Cinnamon Raisin Peanut Butter and White Chocolate Raspberry Peanut Butter! I mean does that sound good or what? Here is the website of the maker of this awesome stuff, but you can also get it from Buck's ;) PB Loco

Oh Play Me, That Mountain Music

2007-08-10T08:37:00.000-04:00

We interrupt this wonderfully entertaining and insightful blog to bring you this breaking bulletin ***Nikki, please be sure to wear a helmet and lock yourself indoors this weekend. With your luck lately, failure to do so could lead to dain bramage***

Well this weekend agenda is jam packed. Not really, but I'm a wifee in Woodstock, so it's full to me. First up, there's the Light the Night Team Captain Kick Off where the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society has asked me to speak about online fundraising. It's at the ever impressive Dave and Buster's. Last time I was there, my shoes stuck to the floor and Stu and I created the world's ugliest baby -- via a photo booth, not the hibbity dibbity! Get your mind out of the gutter. I plan on mastering my skee ball skills. 10 million tickets gets me a crappy stuffed hamster! Sweet!

After that, me and the hubster are off to the magical world of Blue Ridge, GA where time has stood still since pretty much 1967. Oh, besides the monstrous Home Depot and new Longhorn's steakhouse. And don't forget that brand new shiny Crap'n D's. Stu's parents moved up there a few years ago and started a meat and cheese shop business inside the famous Mercier Orchard. So if you're ever in the area, stop by and see them. Here is a link to their website: Buck's Mercantile

Sunday, Connie (Stu's mom) wants to go tubing down the river, which I have never done, but it certainly sounds like fun so bring it on. I hope to have pictures on Monday showing off how fierce and out doorsy I am. Or at least a couple of me getting stuck in my inner tube or loosing my bathing suit bottoms. Ra cha cha! Hope you're enjoying the worst photo shop job ever with "me" in the inner tube! I couldn't find the exact illustration I was going for, so I created my own. Something tells me graphic design isn't my forte.....

Lu-sing Weight
Still going strong. 16 lbs total. I hope to lose another 5 or 6 before I go to the doctor again 2 Tuesdays from now, but that might be a tall order.

Deja Booooooo

2007-08-09T08:14:00.000-04:00

Stu and I watched Premonition last night. You know, the movie where Sandra Bullock's husband is alive, then dead, then alive, yadda yadda. Here is the trailer just to jog your memory on just which rotten tomato I am speaking of....

This movie #1 - was terrible #2 - tried to act like it was a scary movie by adding the most over-the-top soundtrack to scenes that aren't even scary. Like she rounds the corner in her house and there is a man standing there. You can't see his face so the music in the background makes it seem like its some crazy rapist, but -- oh wait - it's......her husband. Just like you thought it was. This movie was full of plot holes (so says my film-minor husband, I'm too dense when it comes to movies to pay attention to things like plot holes and continuity problems) and the ending was very Sopranoes-esque if you ask me. I give it 1 Slimfast. And does anyone else think that Julian Mcmahon (who plays Mr. Sandra Bullock) looks just like the gay guy on Dawson's Creezy? He could be his twin.....dad - or something.

More and more colleges are receiving requests for roommate reassignments. And these requests aren't coming from students, but from their parents! The main culprit behind this new trend? Facebook! A-PARENT-ly (wow, gotta love those dad jokes), moms and dads are going online and viewing these profiles and are forming negative opinions of their childrens' cohorts. The main triggers that are sited for these negative reactions are photo albums and "party-related content" featured on students' profiles. So be careful what you put out there, you hoodlums and skanks, 'cuz the interweb is giving parents a great way to keep tabs on you. Click here for more on this redunkulous parental behavior.

Lu-sing Weight
To go along with my weight loss theme, I have dug up one of my favorite episodes of SNL (the first time Jim Carey hosted) and found a great clip: Jimmy Tango's Fat Busters. Enjoy!

Future Sex Love Post

2007-08-08T09:53:00.001-04:00

Justin was freaking awesome. Amazing show and we had pretty good seats. You could tell that his show was setup to play in a bigger arena than the Gwinnett Center because they had these huge screens that were raised and lowered throughout the show that curled their way around the stage. These screens showed video of him closer up, which would have helped if we were a football field away from him, but since Gwinnett is a little smaller, it kind of covered him up and we couldn't see everything. Watching the show made me want to be a back-up dancer in the worst way. They were all so bad-ass. Except for this one blonde chick who was a total hooker. Whenever she danced with Justin, it looked like they've pretty much sealed the deal every night on tour! Plus, Timbaland was there which was a total bonus. And Good Charlotte opened.

Ahhhh. It's nice to know all of my friends who are teachers and have been sleeping in and relaxing at the pool all summer are finally back to work! Bwah ha ha! Everytime summer comes around, I always think I'm in the wrong profession. Just because, how can I pass up the oppurtunity to have my summers off? But then they go back to school in the fall and I hear their weirdest stories and think, "Thank God I'm not a teacher". Until summer comes around, rinse and repeat.

I think we should take a page out of our Mexican neighbors book and have afternoon siestas at work! Wouldn't that be awesome? Everyone has their little cot area with the company logo printed on it and a little blanket and pillow. Around 2:30, the higher-ups walk around and tuck everyone in and the lights go off and you're allowed to snooze for an hour. That would be SICK! I'd stay an extra hour just to fit naptime in! And then we could all take turns bringing in a snack, too! I'll bring Fruit Roll-ups!

Lu-sing Weight
Down another lb so 16 total. My clothes are starting to feel looser and my boobs are shrinking a little (damn!). But I'd rather be skinny with medium sized boobs than fat with bigguns!

VH1-derful Programming

2007-08-07T08:11:00.000-04:00

Tuesday = VH1 show updates -- for all those old people who used to watch MTV but have now found VH1 to have a better line up. Wow. I can't believe I'm a chick who watches Best Week Ever over the Real World Season 33, Panama City. Ha! Wouldn't that be a gem of a show?

"So, like I walked into Club La Vela, and this chick was totally making out with some other chick who I saw making out with my roommate Tammy."

Anyways! Speaking of scum of the earth.....

This week on Crock of Love, good OLD Rodeo finally said good bye. Bret tried to make it look like he didn't want to give her the boot, but we all know he was tired of hearing her cry about missing her son. They showed her crying about him maybe 5 separate times this episode. Beat it Grandma. We've got no time for your hot flashing shenanigans. Another one of my least favorites bit it as well this week, Brandi C. What a retard. This is the chick who started a fight with Balloon Boobs, aka Erin, and then started crying when Erin retaliated and pointed out her "meth-scratched face". Ahh. That's a good one. I will try and use that in a sentence today! I mean if you're not watching this yet, aren't you intrigued? Meth-scratched faces, balloon boobs, old weirdos who are never videotaped without their cowboy hats and are obsessed with their sons?

So I watched ManBand last night and here is my review: Don't Bother. There was nothing in that 30 minute show that made me want to tune in next week. If anything, it made me feel sorry for all these has-beens. Total buzz kill. The LFO guy has freaking Leukemia! How am I supposed to make fun of them when one of them is currently going through treatment for one of the deadliest cancers? They did that on purpose! The *NSYNC guy is an alcoholic and the Color Me Badd dude is a recovering alcoholic and makes his living schlepping tires around (plus an extra 75 lbs.)in some po dunk town with his duffy wife. It was a total downer. Although the guy from 98 Degrees is totally cute, I will give them that. But not cute enough to warrant me tuning in again. Please choose from the following options: A)Remove ManBand from DVR Season Pass or B)Slit wrists

One more VH1 shoutout. I would like to say Kudos to an old high school buddy of mine who I just found out (via her myspace page) is a coordinating producer for another fave show of mine, "Scott Baio is 45 and Single". I also watch this one every week, but I figured I should keep the VH1 commentaries to a minimum, so I don't blog it. But it's cute. So congrats on having the most glamorous job of all my friends, Haylee. I'm a little jealous. Oh and Go Sparkleberry Bumble Bees! Class of '97 (not me, her)! Ps -- I stole this photo from your page, Haylee....hope you dont mind ;)

JT Y'all
Yeah LADIEZ! JT's bringin' sexy back to the ATL tonight (I couldn't resist). Me and my lady friends (minus Nikki, who agreed to come down and then punked out giving the lame excuse that she lives over 700 miles away and its the middle of the week - Nikki, "what the dealio? I Heart You!!!!") are treating ourselves to the eye candy that is.... Mr. Timberlake. My goal is to get Jessica Biel onstage and have her reprimand me for getting my grab on with her boyfriend!

Lu-sing Weight
Geez. It's hard to write about weight loss everyday! Gimme a break, will ya?!

Things That Aren't in 'Hoodstock for $400, Alex

2007-08-06T08:22:00.000-04:00

Volunteering on Friday was pretty fun. They all love me over there since I managed to raise over $10,000 3 months before the walk even happens. They even asked me to speak at the Team Captains Kick Off they are hosting this weekend. They want me to talk about online fundraising, which shouldn't be too difficult, considering I raised over $4,000 in 3 days just by sending out emails. But I can't help but feel like alot of that was because I asked so many people right after mom passed away. I'm anxious to see if I can raise this much again next year. That will be the true test of my fundraising super hero strength.

Wow, am I a Debbie Downer, or what this morning?! On a lighter note, I discovered that the Flying Biscuit opened another location right off of West Paces Ferry and Northside in Buckhead, so we don't have to drive all the way into the city to enjoy the yumminess that is The Flying Biscuit. For those of you that do not know of this tasty breakfast establishment, you soon will. I also found out that the owner's of the Moe's, Doc Green's and Shane's Rib Shack conglomeration (aka Raving Brands) purchased The Flying Biscuit in May 2007 and plan on opening 50 stores this year! So I can have my "Meggxican Wrap" closer to home. If they open one in the 'Hoodstock, that would make my year. But I've also heard rumors of a Maggiano's and a PF Chang's opening out here in the sticks for the past year and a half, so I'm not holding my breath...or stomach.

As for the rest of the weekend, I discovered my new favorite store: The Container Store. This place puts BB&B (or as my broseph-in-law calls it, Triple B) to shame in the "you-never-knew-you-needed-this" department, because you do actually need this stuff. Damn it! Their marketing ploy has worked it's magic on me! Anyways, I dropped almost a hundy in that place without blinking. And I could have spent more! Thank goodness there are only two ATL locations and both are at least 25 miles from my house, otherwise I'd spend too much there. I got drawer organizers, cabinet shelves, a stackable bin unit for my downstairs closet, an ironing board organizer (it goes over the door and holds your board and iron, it's not like I need my ironing board to be organized) and other nerdy items. Then I proceeded to dweeb out and organize pretty much my entire house. And I made a list of the many many items I have now convinced myself I can't live without. The big kicker is, I'm not even that much of an "organized" person. So if this place has that effect on me, imagine what it would do for someone who gives a crap most of the time!

Lu-sing Weight
14 lbs. down total! That's like sloughing off Nicole Richie! Well, she is preggers now so maybe I should save that comparison for 14.5 lbs. Here is a pic of her at 3 months. Just kidding. You can totally tell that was taken last week at 4 months. Total baby bump. Oh really? That's her intestines about to poke through her paper-thin, malnourished skin? Oh! My bad.

Go Vols..no, not the hillbillies, the other kind

2007-08-03T08:17:00.000-04:00

Ok so today I am volunteering at my local chapter for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. They need help stuffing mailers for the walk I am participating in this October in memory of my sweet mom, Kritter. Ohh. Stuffing mailers. I always knew my charity outreach programs would be so glamorous. And since my company gives us 5 extra days a year to do volunteer work, community service or mission work, I decided to put them to use stuffing some packages (hey oh!).

(Shameless Plug!)
To help me raise $11,000 in memory of my mom, visit my Light the Night Page. I'm at $10,450 and I'm so close. I think I heard some change jingling in your pocket, so throw it my way. Besides, its tax deductable so everybody wins ;)Wink wink, nudge nudge.

And now I am going to break out the old Soap Box this lovely Friday morn. Let's talk about Rihanna's song, Umbrella. Now, the song's pretty catchy, I'll admit it. I've found myself walking around singing those deep lyrics, "Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay." I mean, that stuff's soul penetrating. How does she come up with this sheer poetry? She rivals Fergie with her lyricism. But she should take a page out of Fergie's "Tranny Guide To Being the Best Solo Artist" and throw some letters up in her songs. But, I digress.... On top of this Umbrella song that is played more than Gold Digger (wait, who are we kidding? That's impossible!) now they've introduced parodies of this song that they mix in with the real version. So what I want to know is, when did this become cool? I mean, "You can be my umbrella" doesn't make any sense. But neither does "Your girlfriend is a fella". Yeah, you heard me. I actually heard that on my way into work yesterday. On the radio. And of course this "hilarious" little tune replaced "ay, ay, ay" with "ew, ew, ew". Oh so clever. Another rendition I've heard is "You can be my Cinderella". Not terrible. But why is this necessary? I'm already over the song so there's no way I'm going to be "under" the parodies, if you catch my drift. Last time I checked Atlanta's New* #1 Hit Music Station wasn't an avenue for sketch comedy. Stick to your playlists and leave these songs alone!

Lu-Sing Weight
I've had a pretty good week so far. I've lost about 2 lbs this week so that's encouraging. Now it only looks like I've had three kids instead of fifty-leven. I'm inching further and further away from the mom jeans
* P to the S - this station has been claiming it's "new" since 1999!

And I-ee-I Will Always Love Youuuu...Tube

2007-08-02T08:30:00.000-04:00

So I was pleasantly reminded of this "webjunk" gem yesterday via email from a co-worker (thanks Joe!). I know this surfaced years ago on YouTube, but I had completely forgotten about it. It's videos like this that make YouTube such a wonderful tool for curing boredom. The clip below features the Asian Backstreet Boys lip-syncing to As Long As You Love Me and it's freaking priceless.

Now, there are 3 things that I find overly amusing in this clip.

#1 - The facial expressions and activities of the guy on the right while the other guy is singing his part. It makes the video.

#2 - The third guy in the background that simply continues to play his video game online while these two clown shoes rock their own little world.

#3 - Halfway through the video, the guy on the right starts rubbing his man-boobs and somehow the motion turns into scratching. It's a very interesting dance move and I encourage each of you to try it the next time you're getting your sweat on in "da club."

These Asian Milli-Vanilli's also have another gig that's to Backstreet's I Want It That Way, and they have matching basketball jersey's on in that one. But I don't think that diddy is quite as entertaining as this masterpiece.

Last night, the hubbster and I went to BB&B - that's married speak for Bed Bath and Beyond. BB&B is the married people hot spot, especially if you're registered there. We spent hours and hours there back when we first got married. Registering, returning, exchanging, shopping. We might as well have worked there! At BB&B, you can find a bunch of useless crap that you never even knew you ~~wanted~~ needed. You can also find a bunch of crap to turn your bland and boring place from drab to fab. We dig it because it's cheaper than Pottery Barn and stays open later (very important when you don't get home from work until after 6:00p!) We actually haven't been in awhile. But I was taking a look around there and they have some seriously stupid products available.

Like this lovely item, Doggy Steps. Gimme a break! If you're dog is so small he can't get on your sofa, then you should consider the fact that maybe you don't own a dog, but in fact a rat or hampster! They also sell things they have no business selling. Like body shaping pantyhose, cold medicine, and tons of candy. What is with all the various sundries at the front of the store that have nothing to do with the bedroom, bathroom or kitchen? I guess that's where the "beyond" comes in. Beyond = whatever we can fit up front by the registers for all the Ronda Retails* to buy while waiting to check out with their $400 Dyson vaccuums**.

Lu-sing Weight
Nothing new here. We tried dinner at this place called Buco di Beppo's last night. I think that's how you spell it. It was a family-style italian place that thinks its cool to "walk their guests through the kitchen" on the way to their table. I found it weird. Plus they served Pepsi products, but no Dr. Pepper....a-holes. If you're a restaurant in the South, you best be reppin' Coke (my street slang makes me so young and hip). And if you don't and have the audacity to serve Pepsi products (Stu calls this "yankee-p*ss") you better come correct with the Dr. Pepper! I settled for Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew with italian isn't exactly a match made in heaven. The food was "eh" and the salad was "I've had better". But that helps when you're trying to lose weight because that way, you don't eat as much.

*Ronda Retail is a derogatory term Stu uses at his paint store to describe any housewife who comes in and is a pain in the badonka donk. Stu, feel free to elaborate via comments below.

**Damn you, Dyson! I want one so bad but they are too pricey! They are like the iphones of vaccuums....so cool, yet I can't bring myself to spend that kind of money on one. Cripes!

Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.

2007-08-01T09:23:00.000-04:00

Ok so here is the funniest look-alike photo I will probably ever post. Take a look at my dad vs. Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite! HA freaking ha! Dad looks like he's about to go sell tupperware around the neighborhood or buy a time travel machine online. He just needs that white ascot shirt Uncle Rico sported throughout most of the movie. I love it. Here are some great Uncle Rico quotes to go along with the photo....

Uncle Rico: Poor kid. I've been takin' care of him while his grandma's in the hospital. He still wets the bed and everything.
Ilene: You're kidding.
Uncle Rico: Yeah, he's a tender little guy. He still gets beat up and what-not.
Uncle Rico: Anyway uh... so we still feelin' pretty good about this, uh, 32-piece set, here?

Uncle Rico: We also need some way to make us look official, like we got all the answers.
Kip: How bout some gold bracelets?
Uncle Rico: We need like some name tags with our picture on it, all laminated and what not. I mean, we gotta look legit man.
Kip: That's true, that's true.

Napoleon Dynamite: [using time machine] Ow! Ow! Ow! It kills! My pack! Ow! Turn it off! It's a piece of crap and it doesn't work!
Uncle Rico: I coulda told you that.

Ahhhh. Good stuff. Napoleon Dynamite is one of those movies that you watch once and think, "That wasn't even funny." But then the more you watch it, the funnier it becomes. Oh and dad, love the hair. Very 1980.

Speaking of movies, me and Stu watched Zodiac last night and it was freaking scary. Not in the gory horror film way with over the top death scenes and make-believe creatures that hunt people down and rip their heads off (Jeepers Creepers 2, anyone?). But in a these-events-actually-occurred-and-this-junk-is-serious type way. Watching the death scenes in this movie was way more creepy to me than The Ring or Poltergeist because that stuff simply doesn't happen... unless your taking recreational drugs. But the movie itself was really interesting. You learn that they pretty much know who the Zodiac was and you learn why he was never officially arrested. Plus, Me likee Mark Ruffalo and Jake Gyllenhaal. I give it 3 out of 4 Slim Fasts.

Lu-sing Weight
Breaking news! Today was the 1st day I could tell a difference in my clothes. I am wearing this really cute orange striped top from the Gapicle today and before, I didn't enjoy the way it gently hugged the FUPA*. But today, the FUPA has diminished somewhat and there is less for the shirt to snuggle with! So that's very exciting! Here's my little weight loss ticker thing to illustrate my success!

*Please see my 7/13 post for a FUPA explanation.

Step 1: Cut a Hole in a Box

2007-07-31T10:21:00.000-04:00

Rock of Love Update!! I hope I have persuaded some of you to actually watch this trick (wink wink) and pony show. This week, Lacey proves to be a crazy lady (she's a PETA chick, need I say more?) and freaks out when Dallas tells her she loves eating meat and wearing animals. So Lacey decides to get revenge and gets her kicked off. Which sucks because Lacey is certifiable and she makes me want to punch her in the crotch. Her hair looks like she colors it with Kool-Aid and she's not even attractive. Plus, I liked Dallas because she was bad *ss and fun to watch. I hope someone gets Lacey kicked off next week. She's a cancer.

I don't know if any of you have heard of this, but ABC is airing a special tonight where Shaq helps fatty kids lose weight and feel great about themselves. I saw a little bit of it on Good Morning America this morning and it looks like it is going to be very inspirational to watch, so check it out if you can. One kid lost over 7o lbs! Go fatties! You have my fatty support. Maybe I can get some pointers..... ;)

Another interesting show thats debuting soon is VH1's MISSION MANBAND! MANBAND! Who thought that would be a good idea for the name of the show? Man doesn't belong with band. Basically, this band is comprised of former boy-banders: an N*Syncer, a 98 Degree-er, an LFO-er and a Color Me Badder! Color Me Badd! Badd spellers, if you ask me. And its the Color Me Badd front man, Bryan Abrams - you know, the one whose facial hair probably inspired Justin Timberlake's character from that SNL skit, D*** In A Box! I can't wait to see this story unfold. It'll be the Geriatric Making the Band. The ultimate in has-been reality TV! I think it airs next Monday so stay tuned for this train wreck. For more, visit VH1's Mission Manband Website.

Lu-sing Weight
I got that extra wight I gained over the weekend back off. So I'm back where I was last Thursday. Drinking really takes its toll! Sheesh.

Boring Married Lady Has Jam-Packed Weekend!

2007-07-30T09:42:00.000-04:00

That's right! I actually stayed up past midnight AND boozed it up. Yeah! I wasn't too lame this weekend. Where's my gold star?

First off, here is that still from the wedding DVD I was telling you about last week. Notice the haggard appearance and look of utter drunkeness. I can't believe I allowed a video-ed version of this to be distributed. But, seeing as how I was a camera hog all night that night, there really wasn't anything I could do. I wish I had a shot of my purpley (is that a word? I think I just made that up) teeth, too. Classic.

Anyhoo, mexican was grand. I ate so many chips and drank so much beer, my poor shrunken stomach was too full for me to order any dinner! So I basically had chips and queso for dinner. Healthy. No chocochimichangas though - thank goodness.

Saved by the Beer was enjoyable, but alot harder to actually play than you would think. I had to sit there with the list of about 30 things to look for while watching the episode, tanked. So it was a chore to have to remember all the things and be able to call them out and know how many drinks they were worth. We kept having to pause the DVR - "Wait! Stop! Jesse called Slater a sexist pig! That's 4 drinks! 2 for calling him sexist and 2 for calling him pig!" But it was still good fun. And the "Bitch" wine that Jessica purchased was pretty tasty. And made for some great jokes.

All day yesterday we painted the master bathroom in our little townhome of bliss. (insert gagging noise here) It's Benjamin Moore "Sienna Clay" - which looks terra cotta-ish to me and burnt orange to Stu. I was going to put the swatch from the Benjamin Moore Website up to show you, but it looks nothing like that color they have on their website so nevermind! Connie (mom in-law) made me a cute shower curtain to go with the new wall color so I will post pics when Trading Spaces wraps up and everything is finished.

Lu-sing Weight
It wasn't as bad as I expected. I gained a little but drinking all night and eating your weight in chips and queso tends to have that result. Especially when you weigh what I do (ba doomp shh)! But I'm back in the saddle again so here we go. I'm shooting for another 3 lbs. this week. ;)

Hey, hey, hey! What is going on here?!

2007-07-27T09:18:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday, everyone! I'm pumped about this weekend's festivities. Nikki's in town from her new home, Michigan, and we have lots of fun girly activities planned. For starters, Mexican at Laredeo's - her old stomping ground. We'll indulge in edible queso bowls and cervezas. I'm sure Nikki will push for the weirdest dessert ever, the good ole melted hershey's bar wrapped in some type of tortilla and drizzled in whip cream and other mexican shenanigans. She loves it, but I think a restaurant should be able to come up with something that I can't make at home for 33 cents.

Next on out list of to-do's is try a new game out: Saved By the Bell the Drinking Game! Nikki found this online about a month ago and I swore we'd play it whenever she came back in town. Basically, you drink anytime certain events occur during the episode like whenever Zack stops time or whenever Screech gets pushed inside a locker. There is a one, two, three, four and five drink category. Also, the final category is "Finish the Glass" and it only has one event: Whenever Screech dresses as a woman. So I hope Jessica steered clear of those episodes when she was DVR-ing these reruns! For the complete game click here.

Then Saturday will be filled with various wedding related activities including picking out flowers and bridesmaids dresses and also checking out the reception venue. Lots of girly crap all around! :) I'm partial to this item shown to the left. I love that it practically glows in the dark. Very flattering to the figure as well. Nikki, take note.

Lu-sing Weight
This weekend will be hard to maintain my weight loss with the mexican and the beers and drinking games but we'll see. Jessica plans on skipping on the chips tonight so she can have more beers! She may be on to something ;)

Official Weight Loss update

2007-07-26T12:49:00.000-04:00

What the crap?! The doctor's scale is a lb. off from mine! So according to his scales, I've lost 11.6 lbs. in 3 weeks :) Not bad.

Also, I took my before and after pics last night. Yeah, I lost 30 lbs. in 30 seconds...

photos courtesy of Meredith Lowe Photography ;)

If you're just checkin out the blog, the rest of today's post is below....

I can't come in to work today, I'm fat...

2007-07-26T07:46:00.001-04:00

I'm sorry, what?

Good Morning America reported this morning that obesity might be "contagious"! In other words, people whose spouses are obese have a 30% chance of being obese themselves and people with adult children who are obese have even higher chances. That's kind of strange to wrap your brain around. They also found that this translates to friends. So what I want to know is, which one of you is making me fat?! Because apparently, it's not my fault, its yours!

Continuing with the fatty theme, the winner from that hotdog eating contest was Michael from marketing with 15 hot dogs in 12 minutes. He's no Kobayashi, but it was still gross to watch.

Ever wonder where those trite sayings that everyone uses and misuses come from? Like where did the term "Posh" come from? Or how unfortunate situations became known as "catch-22's"? I found this neat website that has pretty much every phrase you've ever heard of, what it means and how it came into today's vernacular (yeah, I went to college). The Phrase Finder It's a UK website, but they sound pretty proper over there, so I'm sure they know what they are talking about! Enjoy

Last on my current events list, is the Kitty Grim Reaper from the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island. Apparently this nursing home resident can predict when patients are going to die by going into their rooms and curling up next to them! No joke. In 25 cases, he has done this and usually within 4 hours or so, the patients pass away. You can read more about it on msnbc.com

Lu-sing Weight
Today's the big day!! Weigh-in at 10:30am. Not like it's going to be a big shock, I do own a scale myself. But I feel like it's more official at the doctor's office! I'll post the results this afternoon. Wish me luck! I have a feeling that it will only be 5 lbs. down from last time but we will see.

PS - Please excuse the layout changes every 5 minutes. I'm tweaking it. ;)

From Lindsey to Lindsay, With Love

2007-07-25T08:39:00.001-04:00

Girrrlll, you gon git yo' jail on! I guess that lovely anklet she has been sporting lately wasn't stylish OR functional! And now its back to rehab. Doctors say that relapse is part of recovery..so 3 times in rehab means she's just about there, right? Maybe we should ask Daniel Baldwin, who has been to rehab 9 times, to see what he thinks about that. For the full story you can go to People.com for more.

I watched Sofia Coppola's Marie Antoinette last night and it was the most boring yet interesting movie I've ever seen. Boring because nothing really happened until 2 hours in and then when the French Revolutionaries storm their palace and things start getting good, the movie's over! Interesting because before watching this, I really didn't know much about her and she was a pretty intriguing lady. I give it 2 out of 4 Slim Fasts*.

Lu-sing Weight
They are having a hot dog eating contest today at my office and I definitely will not be participating! Even though everyone's been asking and encouraging me to join in, I'm trying to shrink my stomach, not balloon it up! Plus, I go back to the doctor tomorrow and I'm treating it like a Weight Watchers weigh-in and I'm trying to lose as much weight as possible before I go in.

*See my post from 7/16 for further info on my movie rating system

Hey There Delilah

2007-07-24T09:29:00.000-04:00

Ohhhhhh what you do to meeeeee???? Too bad that band is terrible. But I do like that song so whatcha gonna do? My husband will probably file papers for posting that I like it. But it's catchy!

Ok so I know Rock of Love airs on Sundays and I should update you guys on Monday mornings, but I reserve Mondays for weekend updates so deal. Anyhoodles, this week on Rock of Love, the girls are split up into the Bad Girls (the girls that start drinking at 8:00 am in the morning and love to dress like strippers) and the Bitchy Girls (the girls that aren't quite as trashy and think they are better than the other girls, but also like to dress like strippers). There was a little drama when one of the bad girls tries to tell Bret that another girl is engaged (when she isn't)and the redneck caddiness ensues! I mean a cast that consists of Poison fans? It's reality GOLD!

I saw on Good Morning America that Drew Carrey is the new host of America's longest running game show. Talk about filling some big shoes. I have a feeling people are going to hate him simply because he isn't Bob Barker. But, I think he's the better choice. I can't really imagine a Mario Lopez-intructed game of Plinko. Or Rosie giving advice on Hole In One. Plus, she'd probably hit on the Barker's Beauties. Which also brings up an interesting question....What will they be called now? Drew's Dolls? Carrey's Coochies?

We went to trivia last night and didn't place this time :( But I did learn some interesting information. Like before there were pee-on-a-stick pregancy tests, people used to inject rabbits with the urine of a woman to see if it died. If it did, that meant she was preggers! Poor bunnies... If you're really bored, you can go even further back to see what people did to test for this back in the days of Cleopatra here.

Lu-sing Weight
Not much to report here. The scale is moving down, but nothing significant yet. I'm trying to get down to where I've lost 12 lbs. by the time I see the doctor on Thursday. That would be 12 lbs. in 3 weeks. Pretty good if you ask me!

Toilets and Weddings and Showers, Oh My!

2007-07-23T09:39:00.000-04:00

Ahh.. my public awaits.

Good morning, everyone. We just completed a rousing game of "Putting for Benjamins" at my company wide Monday morning meeting. Basically, everyone gets a shot at making a whole in one putt and if they get it, they move to the next round until there is one person left and that person gets a hundy (dollars, that is). I love this game, espcecially because I won on my first day with the company. However, I didn't even make it past the first round this morning. (insert The Price is Right loser horns here!)

Not a very exciting weekend for me. I cleaned our master bathroom for about 2 hours because thats how bad it needed it. I have never seen so much gunked up schmutz as I did conglomerated behind my toilet on the floor. Ick.

We went to a viewing of my friends' wedding DVD -- Congrats Tbulls! -- and it was the most inappropriate and also the most hilarious wedding DVD I've ever seen. I must give a shout out to myself and to NikNak. Our "Wedding Update" segment on the disc 2 (disc 2 was where the editors put all the inappropriateness) was the groom's favorite part - and yes he said that :) I guess since I never went to Hollywood or New York to pursue my acting career, I've made it my job to make my friends' wedding DVDs entertaining. I'm the wedding DVD sketch comedienne. And it helps that I was schnockered for the filming as well. You can totally tell by my purple teeth, tongue and lips during the whole performance that I was downing Merlot like it was my job. If I could just get a still of my haggard appearance, especially towards the end of the night, I'm sure you'd get the gist.

Saturday night, we continued the weekend wedding theme and went to a couples shower held for our friends, Jessica and Jake. I boozed it up with the red wine, despite the previous night's evidence that purple doesn't look so hot up in my grill. They had a DJ, which I found interesting for a shower, and the pool where everything was set up was straight out of a rap video. I'm talking 3 water fountains, lights that change color and a golf green complete with a sand trap that was poolside. And they had palm trees all over the place. How to you get palm trees to thrive in Acworth, GA?? It was quite an elaborate backyard.

Lu-sing Weight
The boozing that occurred this weekend didn't help in my battle with the bulge. The bulge definitely won this round, I'm afraid. I haven't gained weight or anything, but I haven't lost anymore either. I go in for my 3 week check up this Thursday so we'll see.

Soap Box Friday

2007-07-20T09:24:00.000-04:00

Ok, for all of you parents out there that think it's cute to dress your daughters up as mini-call girls, I implore you - stop! If I see one more 6 year old romping around in a mini skirt and a spaghetti strap tank top, I'm going to puke on her. Seriously, showing off kindergarten leg is not hot. These skirts are dangerously close to their backsides and they are children for Pete's sake! They aren't going to be conscious of what they are bearing to the world when they are playing and sitting and moving about. Ugh! No one wants to see that, trust me! We went to Disney World not too long ago and these little hussies in training were all over that place. Moms, the only people who find that appealing are pedophiles! Hello?! What's cute for 18 year olds who are trying to pick up guys doesn't translate to your pre-schooler! I mean look at this example:

That skirt is too short for her! It's a super cute dress, don't get me wrong. But that skirt... in the words of my mother - "No Ma'am!"

Other perpetrators: tops that say "Juicy", "Luscious" and other suggestive sayings and words. How clueless do you have to be to advertise that your daughter is one sexy catch?! Ick. I think I'm going to be sick....

Lu-sing Weight
I did it. I made it to 10 lbs. in 2 weeks. Pretty good, if I do say so myself. I hope to keep it up. Go Fatty, go Fatty! Skinny B$%^& Lindsey, here I come :)

Big Girl Business Trip

2007-07-19T08:46:00.000-04:00

I found out recently that I'm going up to our home office in August for an "Operations Summit". Now for me, this is kind of a big deal because I never travel for my job so when things like this come up, I get all pumped about it and act like a nerd. I'm sure most people hate doing stuff like this but seeing as how I have only traveled for business one other time, I'm all geeked up. Just something about expensing my meals and staying in a nice hotel for free. Plus, our home office is in Minneapolis, which for me, means one thing - MALL OF AMERICA!!! Gotta love those indoor cheap roller coasters!

So it's wedding season and my invites are slowly beginning to trickle in. A wedding shower here, bachelorette party there, not to mention invites to the weddings themselves and the wedding I'm going to be in next March. My refrigerator looks like a local community board covered in flyers for neighborhood activities. The funny thing is that this won't end for decades. Because once everyone is done getting married, babies become the reason to have parties and get presents, and be an attention whore!

Lu-sing Weight
My scale hasn't really been moving like it did last week. I'm not gaining weight or anything, but it's not falling off like it was before. I'm a little disappointed. I guess I'm going to have to really hunker down and exercise more and eat more fruits and veggies. I got so accustomed to eating whatever I wanted, I really veered from my original plan to actually eat healthy!

Raindrops & Roses and Whiskers on Kittens

2007-07-18T09:18:00.000-04:00

Oh, what to post? What to post? I guess I could do a My Favorite Things segment for everyone to enjoy. Give you guys the skinny on what I'm currently into.

Stuff on My Cat
This website is hilarious. The link is over to the right in my Lu Links section. It's a website that posts pictures that people submit of their cats either dressed up or with stuff piled all over them. As an interesting side note, my cat Kevin was featured on July 5th with a UGA hat on. It's actually a keychain my mom had given me for Christmas that year. But he was only 6 weeks old then and it fit just perfectly. This website is great when you are bored at work and could use a laugh. For dog lovers, they also have Stuff on My Mutt.

Conair Omega Straightener
This is a must have for me. I have freakishly thick and coarse hair. Sounds hot, right? But with this little devil I can actually make it look appealing. The thing that makes this different than most straighteners is that its plates are curved so I can make my hair flip out or smooth in. I simply couldn't keep my hair as short as it is now without this.

Energy 92.7 fm
Ok this might not appeal to many, but if you really like electronic or dance music, this station kicks ass! I listen to it online at work and it's awesome. I have found many a myspace song on this station ;) It's based out of San Fran but I haven't managed to find anything like it here in Atlanta. It's great to play at work because it keeps you upbeat and I get comments from nearby co-workers to turn it up throughout the day. Give it a whirl....Energy 92.7

Lu-sing Weight
Not much to report here again. I'm down another 1/2 lb so I'm just about at 10 lbs. total. Friday is my 2 week mark and I was hoping to be at 10lbs. by then so it looks like I will reach my goal. We'll see

Crock of Love

2007-07-17T09:10:00.000-04:00

Ok so my new favorite show is VH1's Rock of Love. Let me see if I can paint an accurate picture here.... It's 25 of the world's ugliest women (who all think they are beautiful and smart), vying for the affections of one Bret Michaels, former Poison front man. If you want to feel good about yourself, you absolutely must watch this fascinating program. These girls make the Flavor of Love girls look like aristocrats! It's amazing. I simply don't know how they found these whorrific hookers. I think out of 25 of them, 2 girls hadn't had "work done" on their chesticles. I implore you! Check it out on Sundays on VH1. It's like The Bachelor meets Jerry Springer.

While on the subject of TV, I don't know if any of you have had a chance to see McDonald's new Big Mac commercial, but it's a total crock o' poo! It involves a skinny, model type girl devouring a Big Mac. Now I can guarantee you that while filming that sham of a commercial, that chick was puking in a bucket between takes. There's no way you can be skinny and eat Big Macs. I mean come on! Those things have almost 600 calories. I should know. They helped me get to this momish figure I'm currently rockin'. The only thing a girl like that would probably order at McDonalds would be a napkin.

Lu-sing Weight
Still goin' strong over here in the world of tiny portions. We went to a local place called Family Traditions last night for dinner. It's one of those places thats got that downhome southern feel and you reek of greasy food after you leave. I ordered what I usually have and ate less than half of it. It's amazing to me when I look at how much I was eating pre-diet. And by amazing I mean scary. :/

As the french call it, Le Weekend

2007-07-16T10:37:00.000-04:00

No really, they do call it that.

Stu and I went on down to good ole Lithia Springs - aka Six Flags' back yard - for Stu's mom's side of the family's summer reunion this weekend. Lots of casseroles and fried chicken were consumed. The colonel would have been proud! I love not having the pressure of learning everyone's name at these functions because Connie's family is so big that Stu doesn't even know who they are! Hey-o!

Other than that, didn't really do much this weekend. Which I really needed because I've been busting it trying to get my mom's house ready to sell and whatnot. It was nice to have a "do nothing" weekend.

We did get a chance to see Harry Peter Eleventeen on Saturday, which in my opinion was one big anti-climactic set up. There was hardly any action and most of it was just introducing new people and setting up for things to come. I give it 2 SlimFasts*. However, in looking for Harry Peter pics to post, I did find this amusing one.

Lu-sing Weight
Of course with the potluck fest, I thought I would struggle but I did pretty well with just eating about 1/3 of what I would usually get and I got 1 dessert instead of the customary threeve (thats 3 to 5) that I usually have. So I lost some Hefty Girl points for goin' lean on the portion sizes but gained some Skinny B$%^& points for going lighter. I'm down another 2 lbs since Thursday, so 8 lbs. total :)

*Yes, I do use the patented Slim Fast rating system, thank you for asking. It's based on a scale of 1 to 4 Slimfasts.

Nice Genes!

2007-07-13T09:42:00.000-04:00

Ok, I don't want to sound weird or anything, but I came across this picture of my grandfather when he was younger - circa 1951, so he's about 20 - and he was looking swoll! I mean he was a good lookin' dude, people! Check this out....

He looks like a model or like this is some add for Levi's Jeans from back in the day. Makes me kinda proud :)

I guess my grandmother did well for herself! It so weird to think about your grandparents and what their lives were like before they were grandparents or even parents. Papa played baseball for the Atlanta Crackers and was in the Armed Forces for a brief stint. Which branch, I'm not sure. But I've come across several photos of him in uniform. I guess I could ask so maybe I'll have that update for you later.

Let's just hope I have some of those genes and can pass them on to my kids.

Lu-sing Weight
Speaking of jeans, I can tell the slightest of difference in mine. The FUPA* has deflated the tiniest bit. I'm looking forward to being able to go down a jeans size and get outta buying my clothing from Lane Bryant - aka Go Big Girl Whatchu Gon Do?

*FUPA is an acronym for a not so nice phrase describing the fat pooch between your hoo ha and your belly button. It comes standard on most 3rd grade teachers.

"I'm kind of a big deal around here"

2007-07-12T15:53:00.000-04:00

First off, may I just say $%^& to the IT department at my company?! Everyday that I sign onto my computer, it's a crap shoot to see if I have access to the internet or not! Google roulette is my new favorite morning game to play. Do I have it? Yes? No?(sigh)

I'm not sure if peeps will even find this interesting or not, but at least NikNak will check it ;) Even if it is just to sniff out her competition. Smells like a winner!

This is hard to post about myself! I have been blogging about my mom (see my mom under Lu Links) for so long that I feel selfish or something for posting about l'il old me. It's odd. I almost feel like, who wants to know what I'm up to? But apparently, you do!

I'm on a new diet thats called "eat less food, fatty". It's a brand new modern day break through in nutrition and dieting. So far I'm down six pounds so it appears to be working. I think it would be nice to look my age instead of like I've had fifty-leven kids. I'm also a tried and true diet veteran and have pretty much been on them all so if this doesn't work, I'm going to have to suck it up and start going to Omar the tent maker for his latest fashions!