All Hail, VH1

Ok ladies and gentlemen....the time has come for us to learn who Bret chooses in the end. And the winner is, Jess! My personal fave and the most non-hookerish of all the Rock of Love Ladies. I am so glad he went with the normal one! I actually can't believe it, but he did. Well, if you call someone who dyes her hair pink normal. But out of all those crazy hookers, she was the least crazy and slutty. So, kudos to Bret Michaels. Despite his terrible fashion sense and tendency to wear guy-liner, he does seem to have a relatively decent taste in women when choosing from a pool of completely hopeless hopefuls.

And just when you thought it was all over they give you - the Reunion Show!!!! Woo freaking hoo! They were showing previews during the commercial breaks and this one's going to be a doozy. We are talking Flavor of Love Style verbal battles and censor beeps galore. I can't wait to get down and dirty with these trashy ladiez. I am especially interested to hear what Heather thinks about her "Bret" tattoo now that he didn't pick her. What a hose-job. You'd think that getting a guy's name inked on your body permanently would win you the top spot! Reality TV is SO HARD, you guys.

But if you think your Sunday nights are going to be oh so empty without these characters, you can thank VH1 for pulling out all the stops and debuting their newest series next Sunday night: America's Most Smartest Model! YES I AM SERIOUS! It's America's Next Top Model meets Jeopardy. So these people have to be (as Tyra puts it) fierce on the runway AND not be a total dumb-ass. Now thats what I call entertainment. Stay tuned for more debauchery and exploitation! Oh - and my favorite new word coined by this show: Himbo! Now of course, that means a male-bimbo. Use it in a sentence today!

Jessica's Team Kritta fundraiser at The Three Bears Cafe in Marietta was a HUGE success this past Friday. Combined with the admission charge and the ipod raffle we had, we were able to raise over $1,000 in one night! Bling-blingin' it for cancer, baby! What was so great about this event was that it put us over the $20,000 mark. So much so that we are actually over $21,000 for our Light the Night Team! So we are on a roll. There are two weeks left, so I am going to see if I can squeeze any more change out of whomever I haven't hit up yet! Maybe we can get to $22,000.**please see facebook for the reason I am holding my beer up like a trophy in pic**

Why Don't You Marry It?
I must confess that I LOVE my new Dyson vaccuum. It was a splurge gift me and Stu ended up buying eachother for our 2 year anniversary (I know, how lame to get a vac as an anniversary gift) but if you're thinking its lame, you have not tried one yet. It sucks up carpet pieces that aren't sewn down into the carpet! I mean thats crazy! Everytime I use it I have an entire cat's worth of hair chilling in the bottom of the dust collector cup. Ick. I feel like we've been living in filth up until we got this thing. It's sick. I highly recommend one. Dyson, you can send my endorsement check to................

TV, coke, and other activities...

Wow...it's tv season and I freaking love it! Sooo many shows to talk about. Unfortunately, none are as trashy as Rock of Love. I don't know what I am going to do with myself after next weeks season finale. Will it be the stripper? Or the normal girl (if you consider pink hair normal). May I just say that if he picks the stripper, I hope he understands that he didn't need to go through a reality tv show just to take a stab at bangin' a stripper! I mean come on!

But on to more substantial programming, HEROES made its way back into my weekly routine last night. And might I say.........snoozefest! Where was all the crazy action and special ninja skills I have grown to love? All I saw last night was a spoon being turned to gold and Claire's standard leg break insta-heal action. Bo-ring. I need to see people's heads being sliced open, flying, invisible dudes, etc. I hope next weeks installment brings something more along those lines to the table.

Hooked on Coke
Experts say soda is like a bomb in the average American diet. In other words, its nothing but empty calories and can have 400+ calories per "serving" (XL fast food drinks are 32oz - thats more like a tub o' cola than a serving) So quit coking it up, people! Not only are sodas loaded with non-nutritional cals, but the sugars in them actually promote overeating! And yes I am still talking about the liquid kind....everyone knows the other coke actually keeps you from eating. How do you think I've lost all this weight? JOKES! Anyways, on top of all this, they say that drinking calories doesn't have that much effect on your appetite, so when you drink 400+ calories, you still have no problem eating your burger and fries along with it. YIKES! I think if Mcdonalds revamped things and gave Ronald McDonald cankles and man boobs, kids would think twice about getting the McCola to go along with their 4 piece chicken McTesticles McNuggets. For the full article on cnn.com, click here.

Something I would like to leave you guys with. I like to consider it the best prank phone call of all time. It has some language in it, but it's priceless!!!

"You dont' want me in your house...'cuz I'll tear that thing apart!!"

Thats Capital with an A, Baby!

Hey kids! We're back from the lovely District of Columbia. And might I say, what a great weekend getaway destination?! There was so much to do. We found ourselves saying, "..next time we come we need to.....", about a dozen times. I highly recommend it!

We arrived Thursday night and our flight was uneventful. Except to say that it was a ridunkulously low fee to upgrade to biznazz class so of course, we did! High 5! We boozed it up and kicked back for the hour and some change flight over and arrived safely.

Friday, we hit up the sites of DC - Library of Congress, the Capitol, Washington Monument, and also we peeped the Smithsonian for the high art scene. You know how we do! Great stuff in there - including the only American Museum owned Da Vinci painting. So that was pretty cool. We also got to see some Degas, Monet, Van Gogh, and all kinds of stuff. After our tour, we had dinner at this great steak place and chilled the rest of the evening at Casa del Decker (Andrew and Sara's place).

The next morning, we did some wine tastings at 2 vineyards in the Shenandoah Valley region - The Oasis, and Naked Mountain. $3 to taste 6 different wines! So we basically got a glass and a half for $3. Then we got a few bottles and shared, of course, but that is a heck of a cheap starter course if you ask me.

And you know we had to watch the Dawgs play at Sara's brothers place. And what a great game that was. I am still a little hoarse from all the yelling/screaming/cheering I did during those few hours. But, we pulled it out (of our *ss) in the end so that's all that matters, right?!

On Sunday, we walked across the bridge into Georgetown and had brunch and shopped. This place makes Athens look tiny! It was huge and had so many shops, bars, restaurants and stores.... It was like Athens cubed! I wish we could have spent more time there, but as I was saying all weekend, maybe next time!

My favorite souvenir is a word Decker taught us: ROFLCOPTER. Now, the origin of this word is some stupid online gaming website, but we took it to pretty much be anything we wanted. It pretty much became a great way to describe something funny, since ROFL is the online acronym "rolling on the floor laughing". Case in point.... this is a ROFLCOPTER:
This is a roflcopter not only because this crazy chick has her hair shaped like a freaking helicopter, but also because thats a hilarious updo!! Roflcopter makes for good jokes! Try it in a sentence today. Like, "What the roflcopter are you doing?!" or "Get that roflcopter sh*t outta here!"

Anyhoo, we upgraded - AGAIN - to biznazz class for the venture home and got back a little after 10:00pm. So all in all it was a great trip. If you guys ever need some new place to weekend it up, I am telling you - our nation's capitol capital is where it's at!

Lu-sing Weight
Still just down 23 lbs., but thats alright with me! I'm looking and feeling better everyday. I hope I can get another 10 down before I go and see the doctor again in October.

Say You, Say Me

Hellllooooo!!!!

Sorry I have been a huge disappointment lately in the blogging sense. Now that I am getting into the groove over on the sales team, I think I will be able to post more. Here's hoping anyways....

Oh let's see. Where do I start? I know!

Rock of Love Update!! How exciting! That skanky ho I love to hate is finally outta there (yes, I am talking about Kool-Aid weave, Lacey). It's about time. In the end, it was her weird ass dad that made Bret realize that she would never "work out" as he likes to put it. I think his words were, "You crazy, b*tch!" Just kidding. But I wish he did say that. For fun, try looking at the myspace pages of all these people. Why do they all like the new Nickelback song so much? And could their pages ooze whore-ishness (new word) any more?

Brandi

Heather

Lacey



Operation "Eat Less Food, Fatty" is going well. I have dropped 23 lbs so far. And its becoming a problem in my marriage because now I am buying clothes left and right because - surprise - I look better in outfits when there is more of a waist and less of a FUPA. So I have been scolded about that, but I can't help myself! I haven't gotten excited about new clothes in over a year! Can you blame me?

Tonight we are flying out to the most romantic city in the world for our 2nd anniversary....Washington DC. I know what you're thinking - what about Paris, Rome - oh no people. There's something about Democracy that I find so sexy and thrilling. I can't wait to steal a kiss in front of the White House. Maybe even get a little Lewinsky action - JOKES JOKES! But seriously, I know DC isn't exactly the number 1 honeymooners hotspot, but this trip is going to be so much fun. I can't wait. Except for the part where I have had that scratchy throat feeling all day and can tell I am going to be sick as a dog when I wake up tomorrow. But oh well, you win some you lose some!

See you guys next week.

Serially

Ok so I can't post everyday since I'm "soooo busy" with my big girl career - aka, I'm trying to bust my hump and prove myself so I don't have time to sit on the computer like I used to - but I will try to post as often as possible for you, my fans. Just kidding. But anyways....

Michael C. Hall is my new favorite crush. Stu and I started the Dexter series from Showtime in our Netflix queue and I LOVE it. Plus, there's something about this guy thats so sexy, but I can't put my finger on it. If you don't know, this show is based on a series of books written by Jeff Lindsay. Stu read the first one, Darkly Dreaming Dexter last summer or sometime around then, so he already knows what goes down, but I'm only 4 shows in and I'm hooked. The premise is this blood-spatter analyst who just also happens to be a serial killer. They get you to like him though because he only kills murderers and pedophiles who get away with their crimes. It's bizarre to be watching a show and realize that you're on the serial killer's side! If you haven't checked it out yet, I urge you to do so. It's like CSI meets American Psycho meets 6 Feet Under (I say that because Michael C Hall starred in that before Dexter). Plus, it has the guy who played Richard in Sex in the City. I have no clue what his actual name is. To me, he will always be Richard. That cheating bastard!

The poor dawgs were frustratingly terrible this past weekend. Getting beat by Spurrier always burns a little the next morning. And I love how everyone who doesn't like the Dawgs always manages to get a text or phone call in there. Notice I don't do that to you people everytime we win you a-holes!

Lastly, I need to run an idea by you guys. I was thinking I could get these cute shirts made and sell them as a fundraiser for the team I started in memory of my mom. Here is the design I came up with. What do you guys think? I think they'd be a hit. They are kinda funny. At least the younger peeps might like them. I was thinking maybe sell them for $15-$20? Thoughts, suggestions.....

Lu-sing Weight
I'm kind of at a stand still here. I'm at about 19 lbs but have really slowed down. But I m fitting into smaller dresses and pants, so that counts for something in my book.