Saturday, June 21, 2008

That's Some Acute Appendicitis You've Got There!

Greetings from the land of forfeited internal organs! As you may or may not have heard, I, Lindsey Kirk, parted ways with my appendix last Tuesday. In all honesty, he was being a total bitch and I really couldn't take it anymore!

What started with semi-intense pains on Monday lead to all-out "I'm-Going-To-Pull-My-Hair-Out-If-I-Don't-Get-Some-Relief" pains on Tuesday. Throw in a CT scan for confirmation, a little trip to Northside Hospital, and you've got yourself one great episode of Full House! And as a side note, Dilaudid is the greatest narcotic to happen to modern medicine since heroin morphine. I mean, seriously, it was just the best thing ever. When I first got to the hospital, they shot me up with morphine and I could hardly even tell a difference in the pain. Then they tried Dilaudid and all I remember is looking over to Stu and saying in a la-la voice, "I feel heavy".

For your edification, I decided to throw out this pic just to keep it real and let you know what exactly the appendix is and does. In researching, I found that there's no clear-cut answer in what the heck the appendix does, but it either helps us digest cellulose in plants, or is part of our immune system, producing white blood cells to fight infection. Either way, it's not necessary so beat it, Mr. Appendix! I was going to put up some graphic pictures of bloated, gross, appendices, but decided to spare you so thank your lucky stars for that!

I'm off to down a Lortab. Peace out!